Grief at work: carrying loss and still getting through the day

Some mornings start heavy before the alarm even rings. You stare at a spreadsheet and it blurs. A simple message from a coworker feels like a mountain. I’ve had days like that, where I sit in the parking lot and tell myself, ten minutes, just get inside. Then figure out the next ten.

Start with a very small plan. One task, not five. Send the update. Refill water. Answer the easiest email. Tiny wins steady the hands. If tears come, that is a body doing what it needs. Step to a quiet corner, restroom, or car. Set a three minute timer. Breathe on a gentle count. In for four, out for six. Wipe your face. Back in when you’re ready, no apology to yourself.

Tell one person you trust what you’re carrying. A manager, a close teammate, HR if that feels right. Use plain words. “I’m grieving and my focus is up and down.” Ask for one accommodation. A lighter inbox for a week, a later start, a room for short breaks. Specific helps.

Create anchors at your desk. A soft photo tucked in a drawer. Peppermint gum. A sticky note with three names you can text if the day tilts. Keep snacks that sit well. Grief burns through energy fast.

Protect the edges of the day. Morning light on your face. A short walk at lunch. Music on the commute that matches the mood or softens it. Both can work. I change songs halfway through and let the shift happen.

Work may feel strange for a while. Some hours you function, other hours you stare. That’s still movement. Grief bends time and then, slowly, it doesn’t. Keep the next step small. Let help in where you can. And if all you do today is show up and breathe, that counts.