The inner critic has a microphone: how to turn the volume down
Mine sounds like a stern coach who never smiles. Yours might sound like a parent, a teacher, or you on a bad day. It speaks in absolutes. Always. Never. It pretends to be helpful, yet mostly it drains courage. I used to argue with it for hours. That only made it louder.
Start by catching the script. Write one sentence the voice repeats. “You mess everything up.” Now change two parts. Add “sometimes” and add a present tense action. “You sometimes mess things up and you are learning.” It feels clunky. Good. Clunky breaks the spell.
Give the critic a job with limits. Quality control, not creative director. It can check spelling at the end. It cannot stop you from starting. I set a timer for ten minutes of messy work and tell the voice it can comment after the bell. Half the time, the bell rings and there is less to criticize.
Collect truer lines. Short, plain, believable.
• I can do hard things for five minutes.
• Progress over polish.
• One draft today beats none.
• I do not have to earn rest.
Say one out loud before a task. Tape one to the laptop. Rotation keeps them fresh.
Notice body tells. Tight jaw. Shallow breath. Shoulders up by your ears. That is often the critic sneaking in. Drop your shoulders. Longer exhale. Sit back in the chair. Small physical shifts give the mind proof that a threat is not here.
Try a simple test. Would I say this to a friend in the same spot? If the answer is no, the line needs a rewrite. Swap “failure” for “learner.” Swap “never” for “not yet.” Gentle does not mean letting yourself off the hook. It means telling the truth without the punch.
Some days the voice wins a round. Mine does. I notice it later and fix one thing I can fix. Send the imperfect email. Take a short walk. Put the project file in an easy place for tomorrow. Tiny actions turn down the volume more than perfect pep talks.
You do not need to silence the critic forever. You only need to pick who holds the mic next. Give it to the part of you that is curious, kind, willing to try again. That part writes better stories.
